It must be so strange for you to tell someone that your best friend or girlfriend is someone you've never met. It must be strange to say that someone you've never met or spoken to has been with you through some of the most painful and beautiful moments in your life. It must bring you a pain that is indescribable to want someone with you and you just know that it will not be happening any time soon and you have no choice and you must wait. I know this pain. It is a constant with me everyday. I do not associate with people in my daily life. Instead I have these incredible people I met online that I write. I sit alone in a room with a world moving around me and I write these people and somehow I'm happy this way. The sting of this situation is that it gives me the most painful ache in my chest for not being able to have it be real. At least not real in the sense of touch and sight. I can feel you,but you know....you're not here. I know one day you will stand beside me and it will be an overwhelming joy that will wipe days like this off the map,but damn it feels so far away and I'm so impatient sometimes. I hope you can get through this because it's hard for me and the only thought that keeps me moving forward is your hand in mine and kissing the smile on your face and hearing you laugh. I live for those days. It must be strange to know everything about someone and not have met them and then you do meet them and it's almost like you have to start over and have all those same conversations over again. I can't wait for those days,but I will. I will wait and I when I feel that ache coming from my chest I will hold my hand to my heart and smile thinking of you and the pain will go away if only for the moment. I know that we will meet it's just a matter of time. And all of this will have been the beginning of our beautiful past. So here's to our future.
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